Kingdom of Kroz is discovered on November 26, 1987


November 26, 1987

Somewhere in the Kingdom of Kroz – Level 28, I think

Today I descended into what an eccentric software executive-turned-hermit has told me is called the Kingdom of Kroz. He babbled something about a Magical Amulet that controls reality itself, hidden at the bottom of an endless maze of whips, gems, and creatures that look like they were drawn by a sadistic kindergarteners with a grudge.

The entrance was a nondescript stone door behind a 7-Eleven in Garland, Texas. One minute I’m reaching for a Big Bite hot dog on the rollers, the next I’m falling fifty feet into a pit that smells faintly of ozone and broken dreams. My fedora stayed on. Of course it did.

I've been on the trail of the Magical Amulet of Kroz for three years, following cryptic hints left by that rascal Scott Miller, founder of Apogee Software. Miller claimed the amulet grants true wisdom, but all it seems to grant so far is a nasty habit of running into monsters resembling umlaut-crowned vowels and hostile 'Krozian Guards.' I lost count of how many times I cracked the whip today. My arm feels like spaghetti.

Gems are everywhere. They are currency, life force, and trap bait all at once. I grab them because the amulet supposedly needs 500 to activate, but every time I touch one, something worse spawns. I’m beginning to think the amulet isn’t a treasure. It’s a punishment.

Teleporters. Don’t get me started. One minute I’m cracking a whip across a chasm, the next I’m materialized inside a solid wall. Had to use my whip to break out before I suffocated. The physics here make Calvino look sane.

And the sounds. That incessant electronic bleating. It’s in my skull now. Beep. Boop. Death rattle. Beep. Boop. Death rattle. I’m down to one whip and seventeen gems. The staircase to Level 29 is blocked by a door that needs twenty-five gems and a key I swear I saw three levels ago before a blind creature nudged me into a bottomless pit.

Snatched a "Freeze Time" scroll from a side nook—thank the gods for ancient magic. Whipped it quick, time ground to a halt, those devils frozen mid-lunge like bad taxidermy. Dashed in, scooped a key from under a their nose, then bolted back as time thawed. Whip-crack! Took down two more that got too close, their bodies dissolving into nothing but a gem or two for my trouble.

I'm on my last whip and seeing double from the beeps. That amulet better be worth turning into a digital ghost.

One tunnel at a time.

Location: Garland, TX, USA

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